How to recognize a bully

For quite a bit of time I had a wrong idea about how to recognize a bully. In my mind, a bully would be the person who would push you, pull your hair, make fun of you, kick you when you were down, and most of all, this would happen in a school yard.
Therefore I was more worried for my kid. He is only 4 now, but I can detect a hypersensitivity in him, that would make him a target, I am pretty sure of that. Plus he is a very intelligent kid, which would be another problem, right?
To my big surprise, adults are as much into bullying as the kids. Only that it’s done in a much more perverse way.
First case was my ex boss, a misogynistic pig.
Second case: one of my current colleague.
But I have learned something, and that is: how to recognize a bully.

Here are the signs:
- He will steal your ideas in a blink of an eye; as soon as you notice that your colleague is interested in your projects without giving any info on his, be aware!! Keep your info ambiguous.
- He is going to ask for updates on your projects to deflect the attention from his lame performance
- He is going to challenge your reports talking loudly in the meetings and making reference to some things he might have found out from your slip of the tongue. Again, be very careful with what you say
- He is going to back stab you with every possible occasion, especially if your performance is better than his
- He is going to pretend being your friend and he does that with art, being or looking compassionate if you have problems… be even more aware of the friendly behavior, it’s only deceiving and the more you say when you are upset/sad/vulnerable the more ammunition you provide
- He is going to remember only what he wants to remember, therefore get into the good habit of saving emails or any type of info/approval you need from him
- For him, lying is a second nature and can do that in a blink of an eye. Even if proved wrong, he would try to turn the tide in his favor somehow
- Being a woman in corporate world is tough;you have to prove yourself many, many times and if your bully colleague can make a mistake and be angry as a ‘manly’ way of dealing with various issues, as a women you are going to be considered hormonal and your mistakes are not forgotten, especially whey your colleague will make sure nobody forgets them
- A bully will never ever congratulate you for your success, on the contrary, he will try even more to destroy your reputation and your job performance
- My bully colleague is a brown nose as well and he is capable of spending a huge amount of time kissing asses

Recently I managed to secure a huge account for the company I am working for, and the first reaction of my bully colleague was to attack me for something that was not under my control and not related to the big account, just to cool things off a little bit, until our bosses forget about my success. Unfortunately that will happen pretty fast… I mean, the forgetting part.
Sometimes I wonder if it’s better to have a mediocre but constant performance,rather than bringing money to the company but not being able to replicate the success too often.